Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Face of Fear


Once I was in a dimly lit room at a hospital where I worked,
at my patients' bedside I was presented with a hostile, sneering, face.  Not all-together unusual depending on the day but after a few comments about not paying taxes and what a great job I was GIVEN.  I knew  what he meant.  The light change and he realized I wasn't a native woman, it was me his white nurse.  He looked embarrassed I won't go so far as to say ashamed.   I had to ignore the feeling in my chest, that heavy feeling that fear creates.  I've never felt such hatred.  It permeated from him, it weakened me, but I carried on like it didn't happen with a fake smile, giving him the respect he hadn't earned.  Imagine feeling that much hatred everyday.  I felt it for a minute and I can't forget it.  That minute changed me.

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